Local Revision: Variety

You wouldn't want to go on a level roller coaster would you? Where is the fun in that. You want a roller coaster that goes up, down, over and around. The same goes for writing. The more variation you have, the more enjoyable it becomes to read.

Brogan, Alex. "Composite Image of the Takabisha Roller Coaster" 7/8/2012 via wikipedia. Attribution 3.0 Unported

How much variation is there in your sentence structures in the current draft? Can you spot any repetitive or redundant sentence patterns in your writing
I feel like there is a good amount of variation in my sentences. I have a combination of short and long sentences as well as variation in sentence structure.

That being said, I do have redundant sentence patterns in my writing.  The pattern that seem to pop out the most is when I open up with a transitional phrase such as "in June of that year," or "with extensive research." I think that I may be able to fix this by inverting some of these sentences to increase my variation.

What about paragraph structures, including transitions between different paragraphs (or, for video/audio projects, different sections of the project)?
 For the most part, most of my paragraphs flow into one another. The issue is within the paragraphs themselves. I feel like I tried to force some information into them and therefore made them somewhat choppy. I noticed that early on and I fixed some of them, but some of them remain.

What about vocabulary? Is there variety and flavor in your use of vocabulary? What are the main strengths and weaknesses of the draft's approach to vocabulary?
 At first I had repeated many words. Most of them where transitions, and verbs but I think that the past blog activities have helped me fix that. I have used words that also add to the overall feeling of the Quick Reference Guide. I feel like words such as covert, shady, and pinpoint give it a somewhat tactical and spy movie like feel.

A weakness in my vocabulary is that I think that I did not take that feeling far enough. Furthermore, I think that I used the word "that" a lot. Originally I had it 40 time in my QRG, but I managed to bring it down to 21, which is better, but not great. Another weakness is that I may have forced some words in there from the thesaurus, but it is minimal.