Editorial Report

Here I show how I streamlined a section for effectiveness and how I improved my use of MLA citations.

Audience Questions

1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

I streamline the content and fixed the grammar. The reason this is better is because it stays more on course and is not to much filler material. I also changed the wording to be a bit more active than passive.

2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

In my re-edited version, I changed the way I used MLA citations. I also got more specific by naming an italicizing the main source that I used here. I also added the page number where the source I found was from.

Selection from Rough Cut

but only because I was continuously travelinggoing downthrough the same beatenmarked path.  in which I was the mapper, creator, and traveler. I was avoiding the jungles of the writing process because lab reports were essentially a fill in the blank activity. As seen in Introductory Mechanics Lab Manual, Physics lab manual, lab reports need to have an abstract, introduction, theory section, procedure, data, and results (10-11).

Re-edited Selection
Lab reports became so simple to write because they are all essentially the same. I had become a master at reaching my destination, but only because I was continuously traveling down the same beaten path. I was avoiding the jungles of the writing process because lab reports were essentially a fill in the blank activity. As seen in Introductory Mechanics Lab Manual,  lab reports need to have an abstract, introduction, theory section, procedure, data, and results (10-11)

Editorial Report 2

In this report, I talk about, for one last time, a small change that I made from my rough to re-edited version.

Audience Questions

1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

The content changed in that I removed some information that did not really seem relevant to the topic. The part where I talked about "Starvation mode" seemed more like filler than anything.

2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

The form changed in that I improved my use of MLA citations. I italicized the main source that I had used for this section. I also made some grammatical corrections to make it a better college essay.

Selection from Rough Cut

I would do all my other homework, finish that movie I started awhile back, clean my room, and so on until I either ran out of things to do or a writing deadline was approaching (“My Writing Process” 1/24/16). Starting English, I decided that maybe it would be a good idea to just do all my other homework long before it was due and therefore, I would have to start English. This would have worked great; if I was not human. I began to submerge myself in work to the point that I would forget to eat that day. This would not directly have any adverse affects on my health, but f since it requires three days to go into starvation mode (New Health Advisor), but I did get some indirect effects. F

Re-edited Selection

I would do all my other homework, finish that movie I started awhile back, clean my room, and so on until I either ran out of things to do or a writing deadline was approaching (“My Writing Process” 1/24/16). Starting English, I decided that maybe it would be a good idea to just do all my other homework long before it was due and therefore, I would have to start English. This would have worked great if I was not human. I began to submerge myself in work to the point that I would forget to eat that day. This would not directly have any adverse affects on my health, but forgetting to eat eventually turned to forgetting to sleep until it was already four in the morning. I would be getting about four to five hours of sleep per night which was well below the recommended amount for someone my age

Peer Review for Benjamin Meyers

For this peer review, I did another form recommendation on the rough cut because I think that would have the most effect on my peer's work.

Name: Benjamin Meyers
Title: Rough Cut of Endless Possiblities
Activity: Content Recommendations

Explanation: In content recommendations, I have to suggest what changes or additions can be done to improve the content in relation to what we have to write about.

How I helped: I think that I helped by suggesting a possible route for the rest of the video essay. I seemed like Ben reached a point of writer's block. I suggested that he get around this by talking about how he overcomes writer's block. IN addition, I also think that this will help in transitioning and wrapping things up for a conclusion

What I admired: I really admired how Ben talked in third person and was able to make it work. It gives a great back drop that makes it interesting for the viewer.

Link: Rough Cut of Endless Possiblities

Peer review for Gaby Mart

109H or well 109Hell, which is what the I titled my english folder, is almost over. With it, we conduct the last rounds of peer reviews

Name: Gaby Mart
Title: Rough Cut
Activity: Form Recommendation

Explanation: In this activity I have to look at the rough cuts of my peers an make sure that they produced something that fits the "mold" of a video essay. 

How I helped: I think that I helped by telling Gaby some things she can add to make this video essay better fit the mold. I told her that it would be beneficial to add an introductory slide or animation to help with starting the video. 

Furthermore, I suggested that she add in transitions so the video feed does not seem too jagged. The use of some filler and some slight animations might also help her improve the overall effectiveness.

What I admired: I think one of the things that I admired was that the whole thing felt unscripted and natural. Even though it felt unscripted it also flowed smoothly from idea to idea

Link: Open Post to Peer Reviewer

Open Post to Peer Reviewer

You should check out this article on time, its pretty interesting. Why am I bringing up time? Because I seemed to have lost it. Where did is all go?

Audience Question: What are you anticipating the post-production process to be like, based on what you accomplished during the production phase?

The post production process should just be all finishing touches. In the production phase I finished the essay so all that I should have to do now is cite the sources I used, fix the grammatical mistakes, and possibly swap out any words that I have over used.

Key Information
Once I add in the citations and fix the grammatical mistakes, it should be good to turn in. However, I think you should keep a good eye on the conclusion because I think it might be a bit weak. (I should adjust it)

Major Weakness
I think that my major weakness is that I wanted to cram way to much information into this essay. I felt like I may have cut a few corners to make sure that I do not jump around to much or make this to shallow with all the stuff I wanted to write.

Major Strength
I think that my major strengths are the introductions and my transitions. I think that my intro has a good attention grabber and sets the tone for the rest of the essay. I also believe that all of my paragraphs flow into one another.

ROUGH CUT (Last one!!)

Production Report 2

So I figured out how to use Microsoft Word's built in citation generator. This should make citations a breeze. Just though I should share that since this report deals with citations.

Audience Questions

1. How did you decide to use form to present your content in the raw material you’ve shared here? How did the conventions of your chosen genre influence your choices?

One of the things I implemented in this adaptation was a source. In a standard college essay, I believe that we have to introduce a source when we first use it. After that I can use the in-text citations. The rest of the paragraph follows the same conventions that I pointed out in the last production report.

2. How did the production of this raw material go? What kinds of any hiccups, challenges, successes, creative epiphanies, etc. occurred during the process?
The more I dive into this, the easier it gets to find sources. However, I think one issue is that I will only be using a source once in my essay. Doing this once or twice is not bad, but I think it is going to happen a lot more than that.


Outline Item (From my first part)

Personal Care

• Lead of with a statistics of students that sleep well to test well
• How many hours I have slept this semester.
• How my sleeping habits are and not eating some days but eating too much others

Adaptation
My time management strategy looked flawless on paper, but then, the human element came into play and foiled the entire thing. I started getting distracted and felt the urge to do other things and before I knew it. I was behind schedule. To catch up, I sacrificed sleep which in short term is fine, but it did not stop in the short term, it compiled. According to the Sleep Foundation in the graph "Sleep Duration Recommendations", the human body, during the ages of 18 through 25, needs 7-9 hours of sleep: I was getting 5 if I was lucky.

Production Report 1

In this section, I am going to be talking about my first paragraph after my intro and how I have planned to develop it and create some content from my outline

Audience Questions

1. How did you decide to use form to present your content in the raw material you’ve shared here? How did the conventions of your chosen genre influence your choices?

I think that the form I am using is pretty typically for a college essay. I have the main idea in the beginning of the paragraph and from there I am going to use details to back it up.

My essays need to be a bit more formal and I need to use vocabulary that is more advanced than the one that I use for everyday conversations. Right now, I feel like this intro to my paragraph is a bit cliche but it is still under construction.

2. How did the production of this raw material go? What kinds of any hiccups, challenges, successes, creative epiphanies, etc. occurred during the process?
I think that my only major issue was getting started. I really did not know how to interpret what we had to do for the project. I feel like this will cause issues down the road because I think that the more I work on it, the better I will understand it. 

However, this might provoke me to redo my essay because I might think that I was heading in the wrong direction. If that does happen, I just hope it happens early on in the writing process.

Outline Item (From my first part)

• Too many hard classes
• Long nights with ECE
• Hanging on a string with Calc III
• Hand Cramps with English
• PHYS 141
• Talk about my schedule and the labs
• The weeks and the days where I had multiple assignments due is when my heart really sank.

Adaptation
      From day one I knew that this was not going to be an easy semester. My schedule looked mean and the class outlines looked even meaner. The classes that I had enrolled in for this semester were ECE 175, PHYS 141, English 109H, and Calc III. To make it past this semester I had to kick my time management skills up a notch and figure out new methods to keep track of all the things I had to do.