Editorial Report 2

In this report, I talk about, for one last time, a small change that I made from my rough to re-edited version.

Audience Questions

1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

The content changed in that I removed some information that did not really seem relevant to the topic. The part where I talked about "Starvation mode" seemed more like filler than anything.

2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

The form changed in that I improved my use of MLA citations. I italicized the main source that I had used for this section. I also made some grammatical corrections to make it a better college essay.

Selection from Rough Cut

I would do all my other homework, finish that movie I started awhile back, clean my room, and so on until I either ran out of things to do or a writing deadline was approaching (“My Writing Process” 1/24/16). Starting English, I decided that maybe it would be a good idea to just do all my other homework long before it was due and therefore, I would have to start English. This would have worked great; if I was not human. I began to submerge myself in work to the point that I would forget to eat that day. This would not directly have any adverse affects on my health, but f since it requires three days to go into starvation mode (New Health Advisor), but I did get some indirect effects. F

Re-edited Selection

I would do all my other homework, finish that movie I started awhile back, clean my room, and so on until I either ran out of things to do or a writing deadline was approaching (“My Writing Process” 1/24/16). Starting English, I decided that maybe it would be a good idea to just do all my other homework long before it was due and therefore, I would have to start English. This would have worked great if I was not human. I began to submerge myself in work to the point that I would forget to eat that day. This would not directly have any adverse affects on my health, but forgetting to eat eventually turned to forgetting to sleep until it was already four in the morning. I would be getting about four to five hours of sleep per night which was well below the recommended amount for someone my age